that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've blown a few things in my day
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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