think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize