I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
