is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
