The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
