I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
