I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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