And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
