Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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