is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
