I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize