Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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