your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
