Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
