Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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