Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize