nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
