You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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