I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
