I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think your dad took our porno
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
