It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
