It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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