After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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