the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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