Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
