She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
