Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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