What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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