How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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