I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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