I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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