That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
