a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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