Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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