I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
