If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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