Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
