Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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