how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
