I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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