dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children