And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Michael Bay diarrhea
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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