So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize