I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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