I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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