How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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