He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
