He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
