You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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