Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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