garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
