Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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