girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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