I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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