If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
