I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize