found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
