I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
