Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this boner is exhausting
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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