Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This house was built for laser tag.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
