Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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