how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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